Then for the rest of your middle school career, it was like running a mile was equivalent to writing in cursive. (Don't you remember? If you learned to write cursive, then you'd get into Harvard?) You had to do it every. single. Friday...and every. single. Friday...I would dread the run. The side cramps, the dehydration, the heat...that black track was my nemesis. Then high school...how many times did we have to run around the top of that gym? To many. And always, always... on Friday!
Oh...Then there was that time when Connel and I were newlyweds and he had to beg me to go on a jog from one end of campus to the other...and back! Then... just at my point of exhaustion, Connel decided to make it a race back to our apartment. By the time we were almost finished my legs were jelly and my lungs were fire. Literal fire! To the point where I screamed at Connel in a very dramatic fashion that I thought I was having a heart attack and he might need to take me to the emergency room. I was going to die, I tell you, and it was all his fault!
That's how much I just do not like running.
When I was pregnant, my hips got a little messed up and the pain and improper alignment was just the perfect excuse (even though my chiropractor is a-mazing!) for me to make a pact with myself that I could not and would not ever have to run . I swore to myself that I would never run again. I didn't need to do it, and I didn't want to do it. There was no reason. My hips just wouldn't allow it. I even once went running on a treadmill and it hurt my hip to do it. So, perfect excuse.
Then, about a month ago...I had another miscarriage. I hoped that I would somehow, miraculously, not have to deal with that pain again, but it happened, and I was sad, but, this time...it was different. And soon after...I was ready to accomplish something. No... I was ready to DEFEAT something. I don't know where it came from within me, or how it even got past that wall of "no running" stubborness, but the unexplained and completely crazy urge to RUN rose up inside of me! I made a goal to run a 5K. I hate running mind you...and so this is ridiculous.
And really, a 5k? Not that big. For some. But for me? HUGE!
Now, I know I can't just run away from my pain. But that's not what I'm doing. I've faced the pain, and I admit that it has worn me down just a little bit, so now... it is time for a renewal of my strength.
So that is my goal. Run a 5K. Run it for those pregnancies lost. Then... keep running.
I was still recovering from the loss and so for several weeks, I did nothing about the urge.
Then one Sunday I had to give a lesson to the Young Women and one of the scriptures was from the Word of Wisdom and was about running and not being weary...it hit my like a train. I read the scripture again when I got home that day and followed some references. I ended up on a scripture that Elder Robert D. Hales quoted in his talk... "Waiting Upon the Lord: Thy Will Be Done" in the recent General Conference. That talk had been stirring in my heart since the miscarriage...But there was one scripture in particular, that filled my heart from his talk and then again, from my study. The scripture is from Isaiah 40:31.
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."I know I have to do this, there are too many things that have pointed in that direction for me to pretend that I don't need to do this. My Heavenly Father wants me to do this...and he is going to help me.
I read this blog post and decided to click on the learn how to run link to her blog post that I had previously skipped over...I decided to go back and look it up. It is very motivating to me and I could relate to some of what she said in a real way. Plus, more confirmation...that I should pursue this.
Then in a recent Sunday School, there was more talk of running and races, and how it relates to our journey in life: overcoming, enduring and "finishing our course". I knew I had to talk to one person in particular, and she gave me great insight and advice to get started and keep going.
So, for the last couple of weeks, I have been running 1/2 a mile at least 3 times a week on the track at the YMCA gym. Last week I ran 3/4 of a mile.
Today, I got to 3/4 of a mile again. I slowed down to a walk, but then, I just didn't feel like it was good enough, I felt like I could do more. So I did 4 more laps about the track...when I got to the last lap...I couldn't help it...my eyes welled up with tears of pride and I shouted within myself that I had just RUN A MILE! ME! A MILE!!!
P.S. I didn't hate it, I disliked it at times...but no hate!
It was so flipping awesome! I AM SO FLIPPING AWESOME! I had to distract myself from bursting out in sobs of joy right then and there! (but I am sure that a few people wondered what the freaky looking smile on my face was for.) Oh dear...I don't know if I'll be able to handle the emotion at the end of a 5K! ;)
But, um, okay, ya, and seriously??? A mile? I know people who run WAY more than that, but today...
I ran my one mile Friday, and I LOVED it!